24 Mar Don’t Involve Your Children in Your Divorce

It is common for emotions to become tense between you and your spouse during a divorce. In many instances, it is easy to express your frustration in front of your children. Unfortunately, this can be very destructive for your children, and it may potentially damage their relationship with one or both of their parents. For this reason, you should not involve your children in the divorce. Regardless of their age, it is best to keep them out of the process as much as possible.

Your children will be aware, to varying extents depending on their age, of what is going on between you and your spouse. It is common for children to ask their parents questions about what is happening. While you should answer their questions in an age-appropriate manner, it is important to shield them from the process as much as possible. The divorce is between you and your spouse. Your children are not active participants.

It is common during an acrimonious divorce for one parent to badmouth the other parent in front of the children. In other instances, one parent may use the children as pawns to try and “get back” at the other parent. However, this type of behavior can cause serious harm to your children.

When one spouse brings their negative feelings towards their estranged spouse in front of the children, it creates a situation where the children may feel compelled to take sides. This often results in parental alienation. In extreme cases, children may shut one parent out of their life to an extent that it causes irreparable damage to their relationship.

While you and your spouse may not love each other anymore and do not want to remain married, your children have the right to maintain meaningful relationships with both of you. With the exception of instances of abuse, your children will benefit from having both parents in their life. It is important that both you and your spouse encourage this.

While it may be difficult to do so during such an emotionally trying time, it is important to keep the best interests of your children in the forefront throughout the divorce process. To help shelter your children from the ugly side of a divorce:

• Do not speak poorly of your spouse in front of your children
• Do not discuss financial issues associated with your divorce in front of your children
• Reinforce to your children that both you and your spouse love them dearly
• Encourage your children to maintain a meaningful relationship with you and your spouse

By keeping these basic principles in mind, you can help make the divorce process less traumatic for your children. Ultimately, this will help them adjust to post-divorce life more easily and ensure your relationship with them does not become strained during this difficult time.

If you need assistance with a divorce matter, please contact the Law Offices of Jeffrey M. Bloom today to schedule your initial consultation. We have offices conveniently located in West New York.