20 Jan Focus On The Different Kinds Of Mistakes That You Can Make While Trying To Settle Your Divorce.

In this article, you will discover:

• The impact and consequences of rushing through the divorce process.
• The consequences of failing to disclose assets during a divorce proceeding.
• How debt division affects your divorce case.

Why Should I Avoid Letting Emotions Drive My Decisions During A Divorce?

Emotions should never drive your decisions because you only have one chance in divorce to wrap everything up. You can’t come back in two years and say, “Oh, I forgot something. I need to do this.”

When you act on emotion, you’re not clearly analyzing your situation. Often, clients will say, “Let them have that bank account. Let them have that car. I just don’t want to deal with them ever again.” That’s not smart. You don’t give something away unless you get something in return.

If you act emotionally, you are not putting yourself in the best position to resolve the case. If you’re upset, you can yell, scream, cry, or do anything you want in my office. That’s what I’m here for. Then we proceed like a surgeon, objectively and carefully, and prosecute the case in your best interest.

I make sure that you understand your rights and responsibilities as well as the benefits and disadvantages of every possible choice. Never forget: With every decision comes a consequence. Are you prepared to face that consequence? I will make sure that you understand the possible consequences of every outcome, but ultimately, I will fight for what you want.

What Are The Consequences Of Failing To Disclose All My Assets During Divorce In New Jersey?

This depends on the types and value of the assets you have. If you have a bank account that was opened 15 years ago and you forgot about it, you won’t face any consequences. However, you can’t claim you forgot about the $2 million piece of real estate in California you bought in your sister’s name.

A lot depends on what the asset is and why it was not disclosed. Was the failure to disclose the asset an accident? If you disclosed 14 bank accounts and forgot the 15th, are you intentionally hiding things?

And there are times when people intentionally hide things. If that’s the case, and you learn about it after you’re divorced, you can argue that the divorce case should be reopened for a review of the financial aspects.

If you find out as you’re going through the discovery process that assets were not disclosed, you can ask a court to sanction the other side, make them pay a fine or make them pay attorney’s fees. There are means to compel parties to produce items, but something fraudulent that’s not discovered can cause the financial aspects of the case to be reopened.

What Is The Impact Of Rushing Through The Divorce Process And Not Taking Proper Time?

Nobody benefits from rushing a divorce. For example, if your spouse has a new paramour who’s going to have another child and they want to provide for their child, the divorce should not be rushed. The court considers you ostensibly divorced from a financial perspective when you file your complaint for divorce.

I always recommend that we perform a discovery to learn what assets exist. There are different kinds of discovery, and there are different kinds of assets. There can be basic bank accounts and credit card debt. There can be stocks, exchange funds or assets hidden in paychecks, such as reserve stock units or certain types of 401(k)s.

If you rush and don’t investigate, you don’t know what’s out there, and you may be leaving money or equitable distribution on the table. That’s why it’s best to proceed more slowly. You grind through the case, learn and make fully informed decisions. There’s no good reason to forego discovery and learn what’s out there. Simply rushing to get divorced could be a foolish mistake.

How Can Overlooking Debt Division Lead To Financial Issues Later Down The Road?

Debt always lurks in the background of the divorce case. People think about their assets. They want the bank account, half their spouse’s retirement, or the new car. They don’t think about debt.

Debt is often in just one party’s name. It’s not uncommon to have a credit card in your name. Your spouse may be an additional user, but your spouse doesn’t have a financial obligation to pay the bank back.

Suppose you own a house and redo your kitchen. It costs you $35,000. You put it all on your Home Depot credit card. You, the cardholder, are fully responsible for that debt. You may be thinking it’s a joint debt, but Home Depot will only sue the person whose name is on the card.

If you don’t take steps in your settlement agreement to determine how you’re allocating debt, you could have a huge problem. For many people going through a divorce the biggest issue isn’t with credit cards, but with IRS debt. People can run up hundreds of thousands of dollars in IRS debt without paying. It could also be that they are not reporting income. Often, that debt is attributable to one party, usually someone who has their own business.

Under those circumstances, you have to look at what money was paid to the government, what the money was used for, and who benefited from it.

What if that debt went to pay for that kitchen that we just talked about? You both should pay. The IRS is coming after both of you. It’s on a joint tax return, and if your spouse makes $500,000 a year and you make $5,000 a year, the IRS doesn’t care. They want their money. They will take your $5,000.

Dividing debt and having hold-harmless agreements as part of your final property settlement agreement is crucial. While the person holding the debt can potentially go after only one of you, distributing the debt in your marital settlement agreement gives you the right to sue your ex-spouse for not handling the obligation as they should.

An open and transparent approach to debt is crucial to protecting yourself, not only at the time of divorce but prospectively in the future.

Why Should I Avoid Relying On Verbal Agreements At Any Point During The Divorce Process?

Verbal agreements are worthless. If you have a verbal contract, it’s not going to stand up in court. When we reach an agreement in mediation, we often have the mediator draft a memorandum of understanding (MOU). We do that because we want to have the basic terms signed off on at that time.

I never rely on verbal agreements. No good comes from them. I have been to many mediation and settlement conferences where you have a verbal agreement and a handshake. When you walk out the door, it’s gone, and the court would not enforce it.

Can You Share About A Divorce Case Where A Client Made A Costly Mistake And How You Helped Them Mitigate Its Negative Impacts?

An example comes to mind of a man who decided he was going to use a mediator instead of filing a complaint for divorce because he and his spouse got along so nicely in the beginning.

The complaint would have signaled the end of the marriage financially. The couple negotiated, and it got ugly. During the couple of years they were negotiating, this man’s business grew and grew astronomically.

The couple was still married and were still supporting each other. That meant that the spouse who was not in the business was watching her share of the money grow and grow. The man contacted me, and I recommended he file the complaint.

They continued to negotiate, and it ended up costing the man millions because he waited and did not file a complaint in the very beginning. It’s hard to fix that unless you can get the court or the parties to agree to a preset date that they determine and agree the marriage ended.

The other side to this issue is locking someone in with a high-paying job who then is fired for something they did. That person may be obligated to pay a lot of alimony or more support than they can afford. If the party receiving the money moves quickly and locks that in, they benefit. However, it creates a real problem down the road. The pie has now shrunk because your spouse’s job doesn’t exist or isn’t what it was.

When you decide you’re getting divorced, immediately file your complaint. You can always dismiss the complaint or negotiate later. But until you file your complaint, you’re not putting a theoretical end to the marriage, and you’re leaving too many things to chance.

How Do You Help Clients Remain Patient And Avoid Hasty Decisions That Contradict Your Recommendation?

Being patient and understanding your situation is the most important consideration. Why do you feel the need to rush? We all want the process of divorce over sooner rather than later, but if you’re thinking, “I hate this person so much, I have to carve them out of my life,” you’re not thinking rationally.

If you have a paramour who is pregnant, and you’re trying to exit the marriage before the baby’s born, that’s not thinking rationally. Are you scared because there are domestic violence issues, and you want to distance yourself?

It’s vital for me to understand your perspective and position in the divorce and in life. By putting myself in your shoes to see why you may feel the way you do, I can better rationalize to you why it’s important to take a deep breath and step back.

It’s not a sprint; it’s a marathon. You have to be patient. You have one chance to get divorced. You cannot come back to the divorce court unless an issue arises with your children. Children are always an open door for the court. The children should have the best that the parents can provide.

However, your chances of coming back and reopening an agreement for alimony and property are exceptionally difficult, so you need to handle your divorce correctly, even if it takes longer and costs more. You don’t want to blame yourself in five years because you thought you had to be done two months earlier. Be patient, and I’ll help you fight correctly for what you need and deserve.

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